Can't Tux This

And for my next trick. . . The Double Jensie Toe Grab 'n' Roll

When you are going to a formal dinner there is really only one choice: You gotta Tux up.

VIP lounge.  I must be early?  OR I must be veeeerrrrryyyyy important.
Garcon?  Do you have any 2011 breast milk on ice?

So, this is the Larimer Life, eh?  I'd like to take the walking tour. . . AFTER I lick that little walking problem.

Alright, Dr. T, let's review.  That was a public service announcement lauding the work of parents to teach their children.  What it was not, was an instructional video for new dads. . .

If I look peppy it's because I slept through the wedding.  Grandpa was buying so I made it a double.  I had the sneaking suspicion they didn't want me to look at the flashy windows behind me.   Strange.

Beautiful women, live band, Four Seasons, downtown, bow tie.  Perfect.

Yeah, good idea, Pop!  Nobody will suspect you are hiding a "receding" hair line with that Viking helmet.  Shout out to cousin Cael and his Vikes while we're on the subject. 

OK, to clarify, I said, 'I can hold the bottle now,' not 'I'm ready to pick it up and remove the top.' HELP!

I hate to be labeled a "complainer," but I believe this batch of rice has past its due date.  This was my first bite, then I ate half a bowl, then I "placed" it on my bib.  The big man said: "Perfect, he's ready for bacon."